[Chi chen:Publishing the mother tiger at the Wall Street journal about her "children" articles and book "the battle hymn of the tiger mother" caused quite a big stir American public opinion, discusses the Chinese American CommunityWhat is moreWarmly. The following is a letter is adapted from a "caring" Chinese father wrote to Professor Cai about "a way". From which we can see, manyChinaPeople in the study/Summary of teaching experience, especially how to "strict education" (ChinaPeopleEducation?) And "liberal education" (USA education?) On balance between.

We feel that this discussion is very important.However, in China continent, we think the first important thing isParents should spend time with the children learn together, play togetherDiscussion of "how to teach the child"; second. Because we know that some China mainland parents (especially his father) all day long, "don't come home" (really "up at the crack of dawn" ah), name Yue, in the "entertainment". Children are rarely able to talk with parents, that still talk about what "parenting skills"? Education children are not parents out of money to send their children to a good school on the line, "there are a lot of parenting skills" content, many....

This article is a bit long. But take the time to read is very instructive. ]

An open letter to Professor Cai Meier of Yale University School of law

Author: love

You in January 8th in the Wall Street journal published "why Chinese mother so cow? "(Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior)In our community and the mainstream media have caused great repercussions, said a few days there are thousands of people in Webpage issued a written review. Many of my friends have to pass comment on this article. As a Chinese community Chinese and family education of professional educators, I looked after and also produced a lot of ideas, I think through the form of an open letter and you and our Chinese friends to share.

First of all I would like to congratulate you, I see your resume at the Yale University's official Webpage, knowing that you are skilled Chinese language ability. I hope you can have a chance to read and understand this letter for me. Professor of Yale University law school as the American University School of law ranked first in the occupation, you can be said to be very successful. In this article you and other articles and photos, you take pride in your family and two beautiful girls. I was a father of two Chinese father, may I be keenly aware of to have your family education efforts to pay the joy and pride.

However, the concept of family education and my experience and you have the very big difference. I want you to open discussions and exchanges.

The most challenging children!

Our family is American came in the last century eighty's at the end of. The child to USA at the age of three, my wife and I to the child in English development has been more attention.My children are lively, in the domestic nursery he is often the teacher, says he usually class naughty, not a "good boy".We two people of husband and wife heavy-hearted on the education of their children,But feel helpless to change a child's personality. Professor Cai,I think you probably will remember in Chinese family(And the school)The education of "good boy" and "bad boy" is the two big hat,Once they are wearing, sometimes they will accompany you for life, and your destiny. So how to send our children to become "good boy" is the two of us heart disease was the largest in family education.

After the America came, naughty children. We grow. But America middle school teacher, especially in low grade and kindergarten teachers, pay attention to the child centered education idea, that our children might belong to mild ADHD, but not because of the comprehensive development of the influence of his normal physical and mental.America school loose teaching environment make my child very adapt to the learning atmosphere, at the same time, we also pay special attention to cultivate children's interest in reading (this is our Chinese traditional education culture to emphasize the traditional reading).The whole learning process I primary school on the child is happy and successful, and he kept his lively, active, quick thinking, interested in broad personality.

Junior high school kids after reading and learning interest is still very strong, but also more prominent personality, he has different opinions will relentlessly straightforward statement.During the eight year summer vacation, I saw the child no summer homework (which can be a big problem USA school education), and thought of the children of grade eight English examination results are not perfect, as he was to write some diary or reading report in the summer to improve his English writing ability, but he is a to call a spade a spade, and told me to write these "occasion" as in the summer vacation, he is not interested, but no inspiration. I thought of him in high school at that time, if English ability is not strong, in high school can not enter the English "fast" (i.e. "honor" English class), it may be he later admitted famous university obstacles. Because of my own past high school Chinese writing ability is not strong, and therefore by the teachers and parents of the criticism, certain negative psychological complex and generate. So in my child's layout summer home, work was rejected my turn shame into anger, said to him if he didn't write a passage of at least one page article, I'll cancel his weekend gathering of friends and opportunities. The child is still in no inspiration to writing. I was angry, the child issued an "ultimatum": today I don't see a piece of paper. Do not want to end (and you forced your littleLuluTo learn that difficult piano repertoire is how similar!).

But my experience is with you to be quite different!

My children under my authority, to the computer to print his composition. He was a "knock on the keyboard", a "denounce" irrational "my tutor official accusation" was born. In the article he most incisive expression he does not speak the truth to me this, do not speak the educational philosophy of the tutoring style of his pain, he thought this kind of forced child without inspiration on writing is equal to the bird's throat plug a cloth group and want him to sing, the horses mouth mouth sleeve and sleeve to neigh, this non education humane methods will leave psychological shadow in the growing of children, children grow up to leave the psychological scars. (I later in retrospect I in high school when I Chinese composition class bad grades, teachers and parents to visit and talk. So my father was very angry, to me during the summer vacation to write diary every day, every morning to write a diary writing to and go out and play companion, many times I have neither the inspiration, it is nothing to write, only newspaper blotters, text is simple and tasteless, psychology of writing really left a shadow) In short, the son of a text, writing his dad's "overbearing" tutor injured all over the body style refutation. Read the children this "critical" in my scalp pins and needles, (estimated) blood pressure also increased, I almost can not be self - restraint. But luckily I was still a little self awareness, think this is "make impertinent remarks", but this is also he should be my "command", but the content of the article (harsh criticism of my "family" style ") is It stands to reason". As the Danish writer Andersen "the emperor's new clothes" is the story of that, my junior high school children to see me this be opinionated make education of father didn't understand the basic principles of education. (of course, this is the child at a glance "wearing no clothes" feeling is I years to reflect it.)

Since then of course I would not do the homework. After my children to high school, English test scores remained atA-So, the second grade high school teacher did not recommend him into English "fast", although we regret, but we still accept the school teacher's decision. But the children interested in reading and writing and is not subject to any influence, may make him more time to read books ("fast" requirement to read more English classic works of literature. He began to self built website, and often with friends online communication. He loves to write personal expression of ideas and emotions. During high school, his interest in English writing has been relatively strong, some of his coursework essays also obtained the English class (non "fast") teacher appreciation. His university entranceSATLanguage(verbal)Got a full mark in the exam. Children in the bachelor's degree at the time, even at the expense of editing and publishing a student essay anthology, and students in the school magazine editorial department volunteer, chairman of the students at the same time once the blog site of the University of. After graduating from university to continue to write and edit your own web site of the high passion, in recent years some of his blog has been more than a thousand people reading times.

Must be "uniform" child?

Professor Cai, you in the article in detail how you "uniform" your daughter (personalityLulu), and act tough and talk soft ground that she mastered more difficult piano music, so for your own powerful China "tiger mother" style and proud. As your core story in the Wall Street journal article, you have to take the daughter of high-pressure uniform, then help her succeed in mastering difficult piano playing the experience described it true to life likeness, but this story is probably the most controversial to arouse the reader.As a Chinese American mother, are you proud of your own "suppress rational" success, and become the proof of your tutor in the concept of intangible. And I was his son's "rebel" move "wins", and was eventually feel admiration for the children "boosting" diction and.[chi chen: in contradiction / conflict with the child, parents should not need to "give up"? This is a difficult problem. However, if the parents aware of their wrong, should have the courage to admit a mistake in front of the children. Of courseCan be considered suitable for their ownAdmit the wrong way. Ha-ha. ]In a sense, I and your family education represented by the two typical examples of American educational philosophy and practice.

However, Cai you are aware of it or not:

As a law professor, you gain a complete victory proud in and your daughter's "family battle" in, your daughter's self-esteem and self-confidence may be you "cold violence" caused by the invisible and potential harm?

As a professional, you repeatedly stressed in the game (Music) must be the first name, or school grades are always fullAResults, you give children set a "can only succeed, not fail" the trap of thinking (you know China has a famous saying: failure is the mother of success)?

As a mother, you want your daughter in the high-pressure environment need to self selection and self protection, whether she will tend to choose to give up and stand, and may be more damage?[chi chen: the three question is very good. But it is very difficult to answer, the need to think very seriously, the specific situation and consider the case. ]

Compare you to discipline their children "gain a complete victory", I do my homework in the "forced" child "completely lost," and was the son of the articles out to injured all over the body, be thrown into a panic. But I saw my child's "great victory". Be honest, this is the core America humanism education (Child Development), my child personality (active), and our family education (emphasis on knowledge) of dynamic binding results. His high school's motto is "excellence, create, respect, responsibility"(Excellence, Innovation, Respect, Responsibility)In high school, he's motto is "learning and the maintenance of the human" (Learning sustain humanity).My children's knowledge, language skills, passion, and critical thinking skills in2004Years (USA government in Iraq and Afghanistan is being carried out at the same time two wars) summer high school graduation speech play the most incisive,One of the paragraph to read now come is still earn more sound:

"In our life and what things are more important than others? Our life whether you really need something negative?"

"Yes, it is a commonplace talk of an old scholar, but whether or not we always put these words in my mind. We should put the enemy means what?"

"They all members of our human. They also have their own loved ones. Just like us, they have their own hope, fear and hope. Why should we consume our feelings in hatred, in this world if we know that we have to help a people in need, we can get so much pleasure."

And children together to create the future

Professor Cai, I hope you can understand me about from the son of the family "failure" in the joy of success (the "classic" story I have in my friends and the community the Bush was repeatedly told). I and many of our friends, like you when the parents to American is looking for a new world, a new life, a new idea. As in the China born Chinese parents, we like your parents did, China culture is the most important part of our culture gene, they are unlikely to be cut. They are our life in the new world and the development of the basic. But we are rooted in the new cultural soil, our generation, especially the next generation also needs to absorb nutrition from the culture soil, root and the benefit of this new world.

If our Chinese traditional culture education concept is the "discipline", "strict" and "obedience", the idea of cultural education in contemporary western is "happy learning", "easy", "create".

We the Chinese community and the whole society needs highly educated, high status "tiger, tiger Mom" to take care of the family, concerned about education, but we also need our next generation "tiger tiger girl" self-confidence, step forward bravely,. We want to help them to learn actively to develop their vision and improve their ability to deep love and very carefully, and with great wisdom, strong self-confidence, pointing Jiangshan, and outstanding leadership talent in twenty-first Century in a new era of encouraging words, for the benefit of our community, for the benefit of our society, create a shared a new harmonious of human culture!

Shun Chi Chinese happy New Year!

Care for

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